


The Wedding Play-by-Play

by Feitans



Series: How to get a Husband: A Guide Written by Erik Lehnsherr [2]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Charles Is a Big Dorkface, Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Charles is a Professor, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, M/M, charles loves to drink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:18:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8356888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feitans/pseuds/Feitans
Summary: Charles and Erik go to Raven's wedding. It goes much better than both of them expected, for the wrong reasons.





	

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i've never been to a wedding :^)

Erik pulls up to Charles’s house, all dressed up for the wedding. He still can’t believe Charles asked him to be his plus one to his sister’s wedding. The same sister that he ran into Erik’s arms (or table) to hide from. And not only did he lie to her, he ended up getting a boyfriend out of it. A very sweet, cute, precious boyfriend. What are the chances? He idly shuffles through the abundant amount of adorable memories he has of Charles. It’s only been a month, but Erik can’t believe there was a time he didn’t have Charles by his side. His house holds more of Charles’s items than his own, and there’s more of Erik’s coffee in Charles’s kitchen than he thinks Charles has ever drunk. A load of Erik’s laundry is in Charles’s house, because his washing machine broke. All of Charles’s lesson plans and materials are in Erik’s home, because it closer to the school he teaches at. It was no surprise Charles was some sort of teacher with his approximately eighty thousand Ph.Ds in anything science related. A complete genius. That and there was a sticker on his phone case that said ‘Biology - The only science where division and multiplication mean the same thing’. If Charles wasn’t in the science field Erik would've been shocked.

 

The sound of a door squeaking open draws Erik out of his daydreams and he turns just in time to see Charles slipping out of his house in a suit that does him wonders. He turns around to lock the door and Erik’s eyes casually slide down to admire the view. Charles’s tailored slacks makes it a simple task to visualize what’s underneath. Charles turns around, slipping his keys into his front pocket, and waves when he sees Erik staring. Erik waves back and is thankful Charles couldn’t tell where he was looking. He gets out and goes open the passenger side door for Charles. He wonders why he does that all the time now, but he already knows the answer. Charles is rubbing off on him, with his kind words and lovely personality. He’s worried if this continues, his little minions working for his firm won’t be afraid of him anymore. Emma is already poking fun at him getting a boyfriend.

 

“My thanks.” Charles teases, smile tugging at his lips.

 

“The honor is mine, my fair maiden.” Eric theatrically ushers Charles inside.

 

Erik gets back in the driver’s seat and as he pulls out of the driveway, he notices Charles staring at him with the rear-view window.

 

“What is it?” Erik questions.

 

“You look great.” Charles muses, “I could just eat you up.”

 

“You can do that all you want after the wedding.” Erik grins.

 

“Do you think Raven will notice we left early?” Charles innocently responds.

 

“I sure hope not.” Today will be great, Erik thinks to himself.

 

+++

 

On the way to the venue Erik starts to worry. What if Charles’s sister doesn’t like him? What if she remembers him from that night? That he lied to her face? That’s not a very good first impression. He voices his worry to Charles, who just laughs it off.

 

“Don’t worry Erik, Raven doesn’t care if you lied to her if it was because of me. And I’m sure Raven will like you with due time. She never likes anyone right off the bat. Not even Hank, who she’s marrying now. She hated his guts the first months they knew each other because he was a ‘big fat nerd’.” Charles replies.

 

“So what you’re telling me is if he hates my guts now she’ll steal me away from you?” Erik cracks, concern evaporating from his mind.

 

Charles sounds sure of himself, so Erik will choose to believe him. Besides, what’s he going to do, argue about Raven’s personality to her brother, who’s known her his entire life? Ridiculous. 

+++

 

“It’s you. The fucking piece of shit that hid my brother from me.” Raven’s fists are already clenched.

 

“He demanded me to. What was I going to say? No?” Erik raises his hands in defense.

 

“YES. You tell him he can’t hide behind you damn convenience store counter and to get the fuck out. If he went to any other store I’m sure they would’ve kicked his ass out.” Raven’s frown is so sharp she could stab a man with it. That man is Erik. He’s going to get shanked by the bride before her wedding.

 

“Yes, but I’m too charming for him to reject me.” Charles chimes in, unhelpful. 

 

“That’s also true.” Erik rushes.

 

Raven turns to Charles and looks him right in the eye. “So you’re telling me you got a boyfriend out of running away from the strip club I was dragging you to to stop you from whining about being lonely. And that boyfriend is this shit.”

 

“Yes.” Charles is already grinning. 

 

“I hate you. I would un-invite you from my wedding if I didn’t lose you so much.” Raven rolls her eyes at him and gives Erik some hand motion he loosely translates into ‘I’m watching you’ before stomping away to her dressing room.

 

Charles sings, “I know.”

 

After she’s out of sight, Erik leans over to Charles and asks in a hushed tone, “That’s normal right?”

 

“That went much better than I thought. She didn’t slap you like I expected!” Charles is genuinely happy. Erik is worried.

 

“Why would she do that?” Erik doesn’t really want to know, but it must be asked.

 

“Eh. It’s a very Raven-like thing.” Charles shrugs and Erik just shakes his head. 

 

“So, what now?” Changing the topic doesn’t seem like a bad thing to do now. After all, they’re just standing in the hallway because Charles wanted to see her sister before the wedding began, and Erik didn’t know any of the people being ushered in.

 

“We go make nice with the other guests while being seated, and if we’re lucky, find some alcohol.” Charles announces as he marches back outside.

 

Erik scrambles to follow him, almost tripping over his own feet. 

 

+++

 

As Charles leads Erik off to their seats, he eyes all the decorations outside. It’s extravagant, and Erik wonders how Raven and her to-be husband paid for it all. Charles previously told him that Raven worked in a lawyer, but didn’t have many clients since she was fresh out of law school. He said that they had inheritance from their parents, but she refused to use it for the wedding. Something about wanting to make it on their own and showing their mom she can handle herself.

 

Charles sits down and motions for Erik to do the same. Erik follows, still looking over all the flowers that Raven’s somehow produced. Charles notices his wide-eyes stares and pokes him in the cheeks.

 

“If you’re wondering how they got the money for all this, it’s because Hank is a big time mathematician working for NASA. He’s a total genius.” Charles blabbers.

 

“I see.” Erik mumbles. “I thought Raven had some favor from a mob boss and cashed it in for her wedding.”

 

Charles bursts out in laughter, filling Erik’s ears to the brim with that joyous sound. No matter the time, it always brightens his day to hear Charles laugh. 

 

“I can’t believe you could even say that! And what’s worse, I can see it!” Charles breathes out between fits of laughter.

 

Erik can’t contain his smile as Charles laughs onwards. He even starts to let little chuckles slip out. Charles has to put his forehead on Erik’s shoulder and his hand to Erik’s thigh to calm himself down. Erik oh-so-sneakily puts his arm around Charles’s waist as Charles leans in closer.

 

“You’re terrible, saying my sister has mob connections.” Charles exaggeratingly whines.

 

“I know. That’s why you love me.” Erik teases back. “If you didn’t have me with you, you’d be too nice to everyone and get conned into helping the mob. I have to balance you out by scaring everyone away.”

 

And Erik is very scary when he wants to be. Six feet tall, fairly large build and has a ‘scary’ accent. If he stood in the right position and tilted his head down just a bit, he could look like an evil overlord towering over anyone. Unless they’re talking than him for course, then that doesn’t really work. But he’s taller than enough to be scary. It’s also nice to be five whole inches taller than Charles. But the scary thing doesn’t really work on him either. Charles says he looks ‘cute’ like that for some reason. Then again, he sees Charles as an delightful little angel no matter what, so he guesses it goes both ways.

 

“I guesss…” Charles puffs up his cheeks like a baby and turns away from Erik with a huff. 

 

“Now, don’t shun me like that. You’ll tear my heart in two.” He sniffles for effect. Charles turns back around.

 

“I would never!” Charles declares.

 

Before Erik could get a word in, someone taps Charles’s shoulder. They both turn to face the newcomer, a lanky guy with glasses and really neat hair. Like it took an hour or two. Charles smile grows wider though, so it must be a friend of his.

 

“Hank! Good to see you!” Charles cheers, “You look great! How have you been?”

 

Oh, it’s the groom. Erik internally rolls his eyes at himself. Of course it’s the groom. He’s fidgety as fuck and his hair is too neat. His tux is perfectly fitted and so clean it looks like it’s new. Who else would put this much effort into a wedding if they weren’t the one getting married? He looks over to Hank again, who’s now discussing some science stuff that Erik doesn’t want to understand with Charles and he looks nothing like he expected. Sure Charles said he was a scientist from NASA, but he still expected someone… larger. Not in height, but in muscle. He just thought Raven would be more into bad boys or something. He doesn’t even know why.

 

“Is that your plus one?” Hank tries to sound casual, but it comes out too curious.

 

“Yes, that is Erik, my boyfriend.” Charles formally responds. And then he starts doting on him like a pet dog. “Isn’t he just the cutest? And he’s so tall! He’s not taller than you, but almost everyone is taller than me. And look at his eyes, so wonderful!”

 

“I’m not your dog, Charles.” Erik grunts out.

 

Charles giggles and pats Eriks head. “I know!” And then he leans in next to his ear and mumbles, “Do you want to be? If you wanted to be in a collar, you could’ve just said so.”

 

Erik’s eyes flick over to Charles, who looks like he just won something. Judging by the heat rising in his cheeks, Charles has. Charles has his devilish grin on as he pulls back and goes back to sciencing with a slightly confused Hank.

 

Erik just shakes his head and grumbles something about Charles being the horrible one.

 

+++

 

While Raven and Hank exchange the rings, Charles cries. The reason why he knows this is because he’s paying more attention to Charles than the wedding itself. When the vows are being said, Erik pays attention and cries a bit too. He thinks it’s more about Charles crying than the vows themselves.

 

+++

 

Five minutes after they get into the reception area, Charles has already sound some poor bartender to bully out of all their vodka. 

 

“How do you even do that? I haven’t seen a single waiter yet. Not that I blame them, we’ve been here for about thirty seconds.” Erik’s confusion makes Charles grin.

 

“Well, I just scamper off to where all the waiters are getting ready, wait for the first one to take some steps out, then swoop in and drink everything he has. He has to walk back in to get more, and the looks on everyone else’s faces are highly amusing.” Charles beams.

 

“Is that the  _ real  _ reason why you wanted to see your sister before the wedding? So you can scout out the kitchen?” Erik interrogates him.

 

“May-be.” Charles hums in satisfaction.

 

“If you become an alcoholic I’m the one who has to clean you up, so please, don’t make more work for me.” Erik mock scolds. He even uses his frowny face.

 

“Yes yes mother.” Charles sings, “I shall not burden you so.” 

 

“You are never a burden to me, Charles.” Erik sincerely responds. Then not so sincerely continues, “Until you are. And then I will slave away, ensuring your well-being. I shall tend to your every want or need, no matter how simple or complicated.”

 

“Every one of my needs you say?” Charles smirks, “Are you sure that’s a promise you can keep?”

 

“Now, when did I speak of a promise?” Erik returns it.

 

“Every word you speak is a promise to my heart, and mine to yours. What say’st thou, noble heart?” 

 

“My lord, you know I love you.”

 

“O my fair warrior!” Charles places his hand over his heart.

 

Erik leans down and plants a kiss on Charles’s lips. “Killing myself, to die upon a kiss.”

 

“Is love immortal?” Charles abruptly asks.

 

“Hmm.. I guess.” Erik answers.

 

“And if you are my love, are you not immortal?” Charles puffs out in satisfaction.

 

“I guess I am.” Erik grins. “Thanks for not letting me die.”

 

“You can show your thanks in the form of alcohol.”

 

“Yes, my maiden, I shall return with your desires in a moment.” Erik places a peck on Charles’s cheek before wandering off to find a waiter to relieve of their drinks.

 

+++

 

Erik finally finds a waiter that isn’t just lugging around glasses full of air and plucks the two remaining glasses of champagne to deliver to Charles. When he turns around, he almost has a heart attack. Raven is standing right in front of him, arms crossed and face crinkled into a frown.

 

“Yes?” Erik tentatively asks.

 

“You better take good care of Charles.” She demands.

 

“Does that mean I don’t bring him the champagne he’s been whining for?” Erik knocks the two glasses together for the theatrics.

 

“No, just let him drink it. If he’s talking to my friends he’s going to need it.” Raven responds, “But let me give you some advice.”

 

“Alright?” Erik doesn’t know where this is going.

 

“First off. Charles likes his tea with honey, not sugar. He also likes to hog up the left side of his bed, so you always have to sleep to his right. He’s a morning person, and doesn’t like to cook breakfast, so he doesn’t eat it much. That’s bad. You have to make sure that doesn’t happen anymore. I don’t care if you’re using to waking up at three in the afternoon, you better know how to cook him breakfast.” Raven states.

 

“Got it. Anything else?”

 

“He doesn’t like to do laundry. Make him do it, don’t just do it for him, as much as he whines. If you do his laundry for him he’ll start whining to you about anything being dirty. He wears mismatched socks all the time, let it be. Make sure he gets enough sleep every night, or else he’ll be cranky. If he’s mad at you, get him lemon bread. He loves that shit more than both of us combined.” Raven continues, “Try to get him to not look like a dad so much, with all his sweaters and tweed.”

 

“But he looks cute in his sweaters.” Erik interrupts.

 

“Jesus christ, no wonder why he’s so smitten with you.” Raven is eyeing him with disgust like he just said he liked to kill cats. “Anyways, he doesn’t like to eat seafood, so never get him sushi. He likes pickles in his burgers. He’s always at least 15 minutes late to everything, so lie to him about the time for appointments, meetings, reservations, anything that you don’t want to miss.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

“I think I’ve covered enough. The rest you can figure out yourself.” Raven concludes.

 

“Alright. Thanks, I think?” His voice raises near the end.

 

“I’ve only told you these things because you’re good for him.” She snorts. “I saw you guys at first, flirting with fucking Othello lines. You guys are more lovey dovey than me and Hank, and we’re the ones getting married. Ridiculous.”

 

Erik shrugs. “I just love him very much. Was this the equivalent of getting permission to date him?”

 

“Yes. I’m gonna go make out with my husband now, so bye.”

 

“Have fun.” Erik hums as he watches Raven trample over other guests to Hank, who’s looking at her with the second sunniest smile he’s ever seen. He should take Raven’s lead and find his bottle of sunshine.

 

+++

 

Erik doesn’t even get ‘Charles’ out of his mouth before a glass is emptied into Charles’s mouth. If he was dehydrated in the middle of the Sahara he wouldn’t be able to chug that fast. He throws back the other glass because Charles can get to it.

 

“What took you so long?” Charles whines, bottom lip sticking out.

 

Erik points over at Raven. “She demanded that I know that you wear mismatched socks.”

 

“Oh. That’s true.” Charles says before tugging Erik down by his tie and covering his lips with his own. Erik’s lips part in surprise and Charles takes the opening, slipping his tongue in. Erik smells the alcohol in Charles’s breath, and the shampoo in Charles’s hair, and the lotion on Charles’s face. He takes all of Charles in, and pulls Charles in by his waist to take more. Charles’s hand slides up his neck, and never has he felt so content.

 

When they finally part, they pay no attention of the other guests staring. They’re too busy paying attention to each other.

 

+++

 

“To my sister, Raven. You are the light of my life, the one that brings me the most joy, from the day I met you all those years ago. I am endlessly delighted that you have found someone to do the same for you, and will continue to do so for eternity.” Charles toasts.

 

Raven’s eyes flick over to Erik and hollers, “You sure about that joy part?”

 

“Shut up Raven, stop ruining everything!” Charles moans in response, hands over his heart, tiling back as if fainting. A wave of laughter flows through the other guests. Erik just locks eyes with Charles and grins. Charles lights up, grinning back.

 

+++

 

“All right buddies, time to toss this thing!” Raven holds the bouquet like a baseball ready to be pitched.

 

“Just do it already!” A girl with red hair shouts.

 

“C’mon Raven, we’re waiting!” Another hoots.

 

“I’m getting to it!” Raven yells back.

 

Raven tosses the bouquet up and down, readying herself for the toss. All the women standing together remind him of a hockey team ready to begin a game. Raven eyes them all warily, unsure of who to aim for. She finally turns around and stretches her arms out. A breath in and a breath out, and the bouquet is out of her hands and into the air. It soars over the woman, all their hands outstretched in an attempt to reach it. Raven swung too hard though, the bouquet flying over the hoard of women.

 

And right into Erik’s chest. It bounces off and lands in Erik’s palms. Huh.

 

He just states at if for a second, not understanding why the thing is in his hands. And suddenly, Charles bursts out in laughter next to him. So much that he crumples to the ground, curled up and clutching his sides as the laughs flood out of him. Raven turns around and has the most amazingly horrified face to ever exist. All of the woman mirror her. 

 

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Raven shrieks.

 

Erik, unable to come up with a proper response, just grins, “I guess I have to marry Charles now, don’t I?”

  
Raven groans as Charles erupts into another fit on the ground. Erik thinks he’s going to keep the bouquet.

**Author's Note:**

> Im sorry for changing the title so much ;-;


End file.
